I captured this photo at Woodward Park, Fresno, CA. 2019
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Unexpected news is a challenge to navigate sometimes when the news is good. Controlling emotions and remaining calm is necessary but easier said than done especially when the news is heart breaking. Even when a positive diagnosis is considered or suspected, when that final news is placed on our lap, it’s overwhelming. Floodgates of thoughts open to rivers of feelings that seemingly have no end. The energy from the mind alone in this moment and in the coming days, months and years could indeed be described as rushing waters. Ideals and future dreams are suddenly shaken into question like snow in a ball of glass constantly in motion. When the thoughts and feelings do somewhat settle, our eyes open to feet firmly planted on a one way road, that is now the new reality, walking through autism.
This new reality is overwhelming and requires strength, tenacity and skill to manage. Though it’s the loved one with the diagnosis, at this point there is an immediate need for us, the parent or caregiver to manage our thoughts and feelings. This must be done because time doesn’t stop as life’s work needs to continue despite the new reality. There are likely others in the caregiver’s life that need love and attention to include our beloved pets. There are friends, relatives and other children who may need us to carry on as usual to nurture those relationships. There may be a demanding job needing attention that largely provides for the family and/or family of coworkers. Prior existing health conditions of self and family cannot be neglected due to the new reality. These are just a few examples of life’s responsibilities that continue needing our time and attention as we walk through autism. How we balance our time with loved ones is a challenge that needs serious consideration. The new reality affects all involved in the life of the disabled.
Over the years I have been drawn to stories involving disabled children. Often I heard interviews of siblings express how alienated they felt as their parents gave more attention to their disabled brother or sister. Some handle it better than others. Though challenging, it is possible to maintain a positive attitude if thoughts and emotions are managed regularly. The new reality serves as a reminder of the importance of honest communication with self and family without judgment. Families that commit to walking through autism together as a team can prevent resentment from building.
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